young love is the truest in my opinion. no one has a better chance of staying together than high school sweethearts in my opinion!

as teenagers, we start out innocent. we have “fllngs” and young romances. but when we find that one, which we all inevitably do, that we decide we love. that we love enough to possibly see ourselves being with for the rest of our lives. the one that we doodle our names with theirs on the top of our math notes when we are thinking more about them then the stupid math lesson our teacher is trying to shove down our throats. we finally find that one after 13, 14,15,16,or 17 years of searching. and we are in love. true, unhindered, passionate, absolute love. but, …

then the world decides to fuck us over, screw with our heads and our hearts. the world decides that it doesnt want us to be together. and so the relationship falls apart. this will happen over and over and over again for some people. but once the world has fucked you over once, your heart is on guard. you protect it more than you did the last time, until the world fucks you over too many times and you harbor a steel wall where everyone elses hearts lie. you grow up, move out, pay bills, and get fucked over some more. you see what the real world is like. the world beyond highschool drama, where your biggest problem isn’t what pants you are going to wear to that cool party you were invited to but how you are going to pay your rent, pay your car payment, and find enough money for gas, electricity, and food on what measly paycheck you have coming your way. highschool love has it so easy. sure there are flaws in any relationship. but my belief is, dont give up on love. if you feel it, dont let some stuffy old hardened cold hearted adult tell you that what you are feeling isnt true love. or that you arent old enough to know what love is. because my 5 year old brother knows what love is. sure he throws the word around that he loves his toys, but in his mind, if he lost his toys i dont know what he would do. he devotes his life to playing with those toys. and when one is taken or lost, he gets very distraught. i dont know where im going with this other than that i am in love. and im tired of people telling me that im not. that im too young. that we wont grow up and get married and have kids and spend the rest of forever together. well guess what? ive been fucked over too many times to count. just like the rest of the world. the only difference is, i haven’t given up hope. sure im not stupid. we may not end up together. but for now. the chances are looking pretty good. and im going to keep them that way.

like i said. if my sex life is of no interest to you, stop reading. 

I am writing this as if i am talking to someone special. 

you are amazing. there are no words to describe my feelings for you. I have been so frustrated with everything lately. nothing between us has worked out. our friends are stupid, your brother is annoying (at times) and the person who invented time needs to die. or at least a clock ! we were going to wait. but we kept putting it off. neither one of us wanted to put it off any longer. so we drove to the creek, but someone else drove up. we went back to your house and i cried in your arms. not necessarily because i NEEDED to do it that bad, but because i love you. i love you and i truly did want to give my whole self to you in a way i never have with anyone else. heart mind soul and body. i know this all sounds so cliched and girly….. and you know i am not that way. but it is true. you held me and told me everything would be okay. eventually you got out of the truck, left the door wide open so that the cold april air froze me to the core. you came back and held me, because i was still crying and now i was shaking more than ever. i asked if anyone was down there. you replied no. but you really dont seem in the mood. i sat straight up, turned the car on and did my best not to peel off your street. we made it to the creek. and immediately you noticed my shaking. it was so violent and tremulous that it wouldn’t even be considered shivering at that point. you know how cold i get. so very easily. but you held me close, and we had quite a magical night. the details will be spared, but we had sex !!!!! such great sex might i add. i warmed up instantly. and even though neither one of us finished, and it was not the “magical” night we said we would have, it was the most amazing experience of my life. because i got to share myself with you. in a cramped, beat up. trashy, old truck i got to share myself with the one person i absolutely love !